I once vowed never to attempt this record again. I hate eating records. This is the worst. The record is for the fastest time to drink a liter of lemon juice through a straw again. Yet, here I am, trying to hold the most concurrent Guinness World Records titles. Every record I’ve held before is fair game once more.
The last time I claimed this title, I clocked in over 16.5 seconds. But then Andre Ortolf took it back (it was his before I broke it), pushing me to train harder. The history of this record has many famous figures vying for the sour crown.
I consulted Doctor Mike, a well-known medical personality, about the effects of consuming such an acidic torrent in under 15 seconds. “It’s beyond ordinary human experience, he said, but likely not catastrophic. I beg to differ. The experience was far from pleasant; this time I even had a reversal of fortune for about a quarter of it. Yet, in a way, I’m grateful. It probably sped my recovery.
Now, the record stands at 13.64 seconds (pending Guinness adjudication). This is record number 165 in my 2024 goal of holding the most current record title that currently stands at 182.